forest tradition

the view from the 3rd floor of the chanting hall

Within Buddhism, there are some different schools and traditions. The monastery I stayed in Thailand follows the Thai Forest tradition. Monks following this tradition spend a lot of alone time in nature, especially in the rain forests in the northern parts of Thailand. They believe that clear, big spaces (unlike cities) creates a clear mind too. Also observing the nature and living in complete harmony with it is important. Monks who follow this tradition are generally experts of insight meditation and they are believed to have some “supernatural” powers. I met a few who can see beyond what eyes can see, but I doubt if that should be called supernatural. Anyway...

I have no idea how I ended up in this monastery. Despite currently living in Ubud, I'm still very much a city girl. Nature is good to observe from the windows of an A/C car and organic food is healthy, that's pretty much my relationship with the nature. So coming here, people ask me if I like to swim in the water fall or take hikes in the jungle. I would feel trapped on one floor if shopping mall escalators are being serviced, and they are talking about hikes in jungle?

The first days were pretty hard. Constant rain, limited electricity, no hot water, walking to the chanting hall in darkness with a thousand creatures around is not my cup of tea. My teacher kept saying “open space, open mind”. Yet I felt very much trapped and scared. This didn't feel like an open and clear mind to me.

constant fog in the mountains

Then slowly, but very slowly things began to improve. I was no longer scared to death when I walk to the chanting hall at 4am. I was confident to take 45 minute walks in the forest (the distance I can go is less that a kilometer but sometimes slow is good) . During one of these walks, I saw a big snake catch and eat a lizard and I stood at a distance to watch it. I almost enjoyed the space that my teacher was talking about. I can't say that my mind was clear, however within that new space I was able to see my fears. Sometimes I felt too old to face them, other times I felt that if I wasn't meant to overcome them, I wouldn't be there...

I'll be back in the monastery in about two weeks. Maybe it would be time for me to try the forest walk under the rain. Maybe I'll understand the forest tradition monks, maybe I'll find the clarity.

At least I hope to get some of these supernatural powers. Courage shouldn't go unrewarded, should it?

life in a Buddhist monastery - part 3

Coming back to the forest monastery felt good. Despite the constant rain and the lack of sunshine I was happy to be back. From the smiles in their faces, I could tell that the monks were happy to see me too. 

the waterfall view from the guesthouse veranda

Life in the monastery starts with a 4am gong. Around 4:30, while it's still completely dark we gather in the main hall for 45 minutes of chanting followed by another 45 minutes of meditation. Around 6, some monks walk into the village barefoot to collect the almsfood. While the monks are in the village, the residents of the monastery are in the kitchen cooking. That part of Thailand is mostly populated by Burmese refugees and it's very poor. The villagers do not have enough food to regularly share with the monks so the monastery has a kitchen to prepare a wider variety of food.  Around 7:30, the monks come back with a lot of rice (and occasionally with some other food). Then gong rings once again and  everyone gathers in the kitchen. The residents of the monastery take a bowl of rice and offer a spoon to each monk first. It's a small offering ceremony that takes place every morning. Then the monks take their food get back to the main hall first to pray for the food and then eat. Whatever is left is shared by the residents. The food was always very delicious and had a lot of variety.

8:30 onwards, monks do whatever they need to do. Some work in building houses for each other, some go out to the forest to pick up fruits, some study Buddhist scripts. Some mornings, I would give CranioSacral sessions, other days I would take forest hikes or read. Around 11, another bell is rung. This is the time for the monks to take some snacks – nothing that requires preparation or cooking but some fruits, milk, crackers etc. This is their final meal until the next morning, as Buddhist monks do not consume food after mid-day. I am amazed how fit, strong and healthy the monks are on just a single meal.

Until the 5pm gong, the monks again do whatever they need to do. At 5:30, we gather in the main hall once more for for 45 minutes of chanting followed by 45 minutes of meditation. Afterwards, some monks stay in the main hall to talk, to study with more senior monks or occasionally to play games on the computer.

There are no strict rules or musts in a monastery. Nobody has to wake up at 4 or join group chantings. Everything is completely up to your free will and this works well. Within this freedom, everybody seems to take full responsibility, offer their best, therefore everything runs very smoothly. I was especially told that I do not need to wake up at 4am and join, yet I wanted to. Except for 2 very cold and rainy mornings, I was always there.

Within this emptiness, I felt quite satisfied. Very little is set and the rest is fully up to you to fill it or not. I thought my life in Bali was slow, however it took me a few days to get used to this new level of slowness. And once I started flowing with that pace, it felt good. Once in a while, it is good to surrender  the content and the pace of the day to a few gongs.

life in a Buddhist monastery - part 1

“So what exactly I'm supposed to do when I'm in the monastery?” I asked Lance for the third time. Like the previous two times, he smiled and said “Nothing, you're not supposed to do anything. Just go and relax, things will flow naturally”. That answer was far from satisfactory. I needed exact schedules, an extensive list of what's appropriate to do around monks, what to avoid, what to take with me, … but I also knew I wouldn't get anything more from him. I decided to try my best of “going with the flow”, as I didn't have any other options.

This was about a month ago in Bali, after Lance told me that everything was arranged for me to stay in one of the most beautiful monasteries in Thailand.

For the last few months in Bali, I was having some interesting Buddhist experiences. Having had those experiences already for over a decade, Lance suggested that cleaning kitchens in meditation centers was a waste of time for me, as I was already at a higher level. According to him, the best thing was to dive right into it, in the presence of the monks in a real monastery. So he contacted some senior monks and the whole trip was organized within a few weeks. I had very limited information about Buddhism.  For me, monks were isolated and strict people dressed in all shades of orange and brown. I started reading as much as I could gather from the internet, but quickly figured out this is one of those things that theoretical knowledge doesn't bring much preparation to the real thing.

The family of a monk volunteered to drive me to the monastery from Bangkok. They didn't want me to  struggle with buses and get lost. Considering that it was a 6-hour drive one-way, that was a very generous help. On the way, I bombarded them with questions and got some answers. When we arrived, I was a little surprised. I pictured, “beautiful” as colorful flowers, manicured gardens, cute cottages. Yet I saw a wild forest and some worn-down buildings and not much else. For a moment I panicked, seriously what was I supposed to do here for 5 days? Returning to Bangkok crossed my mind but trusting Lance's judgment, I decided to give it a try.

I went into the guesthouse to settle. Judging by the amount of dust and cobwebs gathered, it obviously had been empty for quite a while. We laid down 5 layers of blankets on the floor to be my bed. Then Phra Mo gave m a quick tour of the monastery. Phra Mo is a senior monk, who's actually been living in the US for the last 11 years. He was visiting Thailand for a few months. His presence  was just another synchronicity. What are the odds of going to a monastery in northwest Thailand, in a wild rainforest and meeting a monk who speaks English and is very willing to teach?


On the third day, I started giving CranioSacral sessions to monks! Women are not allowed to touch monks – it's a huge offense. Yet during a CranioSacral session I need to place my hands very gently on the person to get in tune, to listen to their tides. I've seen my teacher give sessions without touching so I know it's possible. I'm nowhere near that advanced, but seeing the monks' enthusiasm for healing sessions I wanted to give it a try. It turned out to be harder than I thought, still most of the sessions worked. At the end of the day, I explained to Phra Mo that I am used to feeling the tide by my hands so trying to “see” without a sense of touch  was quite tiring for me. As if stating the most obvious thing in the world Phra Mo said “If you can sense by touching, you can surely see it too. Just need to clear yourself and empty your mind a little more”. Then he offered to give me private meditation sessions in the evenings to increase my sensitivity and clarity. I was ecstatic and we started that evening. Some days it was long talks filled with information and short meditations, some other days it was a deep meditation... Every day I felt luckier and more thankful to the chain of events that brought me here.

the guesthouse, from outside

inside the guesthouse

The plan was to stay in this monastery for 5 days. Then I would attend a big temple ceremony in west Thailand to take photos followed by about 10 days in a famous meditation center near Chiang Mai. Yet within 5 days my first impressions of the monastery changed dramatically. I got used to walking in the dark, hiking alone in the jungle, eating only one meal a day and simply listening to myself. More importantly, the CranioSacral sessions and the private meditation sessions were going so well. I strongly felt that I needed to stay a little longer here. I asked the abbot permission to return and he warmly agreed.