the rock

Before meeting Lance in Bali around March, I've always thought of Buddhism as a very “dry” belief centered around suffering. You meditate, notice the suffering in the world and then meditate some more... (Meditation by itself is a horrible form of suffering for me, my knees hurt and my mind constantly searches for an escape plan from the cross-legged seating.) On the other hand, Hinduism is spicy; countless gods, stories, rituals  and everything else. Buddhism doesn't have a god, heaven, hell, warriors that can jump across the ocean, that's why I thought it was dry. Talking to Lance and having a first hand experience of his Buddhist spiritual guides surprised me a lot and made me wonder what else is there...

Coming to Thailand with this different view point, talking to devoted Buddhists, visiting 2 major temples and living in one of them for about 3 weeks plus being blessed by one of the most powerful monks have completely changed my ideas about Buddhism. It is highly spirited, it has a very clear and strong energy. What we call “supernatural” is often considered as very natural in Thailand. Senior monks often have powers to bless, offer protection, sometimes even see the future or read minds. During ceremonies, people receive blessings or protective amulets from monks and use them everywhere. I've already received enough protective bracelets, pendants, holy ropes to use with the pendants that would probably last me for the rest of my life. This all makes sense to me, I've experienced the difference that the energy of these pendants and photos create so I do believe in them without a doubt.

meditating on the rock

Today  5 monks and one of the residents of the monastery took me to a sight-seeing tour. The first stop was to another monastery nearby. It was small and rather shabby, just a few hundred meters away from the border of Burma. I was told that the abbot had a stone that would answer questions about your future.  Hmm... We paid our respects, monks talked among themselves for a while and I sat there with a shy smile plastered across my face, knowing that I was the center of attention. A foreign woman arriving to a small monastery in the Burma border with 5 monks in a pick-up truck does attract some curiosity and I can understand that.

Then the abbot brought the stone from a locked room. I was told that he would never take it out for public; it was only for monks and for special occasions, which made me feel a little privileged. The abbot prayed and gave us a quick demo.  I would hold the stone in my hands, meditate on my question and choose a direction for the stone to move, then put the stone on the floor and my hands on it. If the answer is yes, the stone would turn in the direction I chose. If it's no, there would be no movement. 2 monks tried it. It didn't work for one of them, and there was a slight twist for the other.

and the rock starts to turn
notice the surprise in the faces of the monks?

It was my turn and I was a little scared; The question I had in my mind was a centrally important one for me and a negative answer would make me feel quite devastated. Yet I was curious. I took the stone and asked my question. I was told that I would need to meditate for a few minutes before the stone moves, but for me it started moving almost immediately towards left, which was the direction I chose along with my question. I was ecstatic for a positive answer but at the same time stunned by the movement I was feeling under my hands. The stone kept turning and the abbot told me to keep moving with it. Somewhere near 270 degrees, he told me to mentally aim for a right-turn as a confirmation to my question. I closed my eyes and did exactly as told and then the stone started to turn towards right! I followed it's movement for about another 180 degrees and then everyone was convinced
that my wish would come true. As I passed the stone to the next person who wanted to try, my hands were trembling in a high frequency. I was feeling the energy of the stone all the way up to my elbows. I sat in amazement and with gratitude for a while.

The stone started moving almost immediately for the next person too. But this time its movement was much faster and sharp. Later the abbot explained that the harder you press on the stone or the more weight you put on it the bigger the movement would be. In the past there were people who didn't believe in the power of the stone and instead of putting on their hands, they laid on the stone. The stone moved their whole bodies in fast circles! 

Having a first-hand experience is very different that hearing the story of something that happened to someone else. I believe in the powers of the senior monks and their protective abilities. I believe that one can purify his/her mind  through meditation to a level to see the future. I believe that chanting can change the energy of a place. I believe in all of that because I have experienced them.

Today was just another day in Thailand, just a little closer to Burma... And with a little more faith in my own future.

spider

There's a big spider in front of my room, the biggest I've seen in my life. His web is also big, wider than a meter in diameter. First days, I was scared that he would attack me so I kept my distance.

One morning as I was practicing my morning yoga, I noticed that he was also doing his own version of asanas, moving every leg towards his head and touching it with one of the front arms. He was surely more flexible than me. Taking a closer look, I noticed that he was missing a leg. In nature, that should mean a disadvantage, but apparently this spider survived and even got really big. Later he became my breakfast buddy. I would observe him while I eat. I came to learn how he does his yoga asanas, how he repairs his web, how he catches butterflies. More importantly, how he sits in complete stillness for hours when there's no prey or no work to be done on his web. He would come to the very center of his web, hang upside down and wait.

This morning I noticed that his web was completely gone. It had been steadily widening every day since I came, but this morning there was nothing. Maybe a big bird attacked, maybe he had a fight, I have no idea how cobwebs are destroyed but when I saw it, he was hanging on just 2 threads. By the time I finished my morning practice, he had the outline of his new web completed. In the next few hours, he continuously worked and created a new web, it is yet half the size of the old one but he instinctively knew what was enough. Then again, he positioned himself right in the center and waited in complete stillness. Within a few hours he caught his first butterfly and now he's eating it. First catch of the new web, I raise my tea cup for him.

Despite his disadvantage of a missing leg, this spider survived. He's actually catching more food than any other spiders around my room. He instinctively knows when it's time to expand, when it's time to repair and more importantly when it's time to wait in complete stillness. He doesn't get anxious if he'll ever catch a new butterfly again, and paces nervously. He stays still. More importantly, when his whole house hence his source of food  is destroyed, he didn't spend time mourning over his loss. Instead he started right from the beginning to build a web. Then again, patiently waited...

Situations can be quite unfavorable to our expectations. Often we have no idea what the future holds for us. Sometimes we lose everything. More than the actual situation, it is those emotions we attach to situations that blind us. If we can clear ourselves from the emotional drama and simply wait with complete stillness of the mind sooner or later we see what we need to do.
This is the nature...

10th August 2011, Kanchanaburi 

forest tradition

the view from the 3rd floor of the chanting hall

Within Buddhism, there are some different schools and traditions. The monastery I stayed in Thailand follows the Thai Forest tradition. Monks following this tradition spend a lot of alone time in nature, especially in the rain forests in the northern parts of Thailand. They believe that clear, big spaces (unlike cities) creates a clear mind too. Also observing the nature and living in complete harmony with it is important. Monks who follow this tradition are generally experts of insight meditation and they are believed to have some “supernatural” powers. I met a few who can see beyond what eyes can see, but I doubt if that should be called supernatural. Anyway...

I have no idea how I ended up in this monastery. Despite currently living in Ubud, I'm still very much a city girl. Nature is good to observe from the windows of an A/C car and organic food is healthy, that's pretty much my relationship with the nature. So coming here, people ask me if I like to swim in the water fall or take hikes in the jungle. I would feel trapped on one floor if shopping mall escalators are being serviced, and they are talking about hikes in jungle?

The first days were pretty hard. Constant rain, limited electricity, no hot water, walking to the chanting hall in darkness with a thousand creatures around is not my cup of tea. My teacher kept saying “open space, open mind”. Yet I felt very much trapped and scared. This didn't feel like an open and clear mind to me.

constant fog in the mountains

Then slowly, but very slowly things began to improve. I was no longer scared to death when I walk to the chanting hall at 4am. I was confident to take 45 minute walks in the forest (the distance I can go is less that a kilometer but sometimes slow is good) . During one of these walks, I saw a big snake catch and eat a lizard and I stood at a distance to watch it. I almost enjoyed the space that my teacher was talking about. I can't say that my mind was clear, however within that new space I was able to see my fears. Sometimes I felt too old to face them, other times I felt that if I wasn't meant to overcome them, I wouldn't be there...

I'll be back in the monastery in about two weeks. Maybe it would be time for me to try the forest walk under the rain. Maybe I'll understand the forest tradition monks, maybe I'll find the clarity.

At least I hope to get some of these supernatural powers. Courage shouldn't go unrewarded, should it?

life in a Buddhist monastery - part 3

Coming back to the forest monastery felt good. Despite the constant rain and the lack of sunshine I was happy to be back. From the smiles in their faces, I could tell that the monks were happy to see me too. 

the waterfall view from the guesthouse veranda

Life in the monastery starts with a 4am gong. Around 4:30, while it's still completely dark we gather in the main hall for 45 minutes of chanting followed by another 45 minutes of meditation. Around 6, some monks walk into the village barefoot to collect the almsfood. While the monks are in the village, the residents of the monastery are in the kitchen cooking. That part of Thailand is mostly populated by Burmese refugees and it's very poor. The villagers do not have enough food to regularly share with the monks so the monastery has a kitchen to prepare a wider variety of food.  Around 7:30, the monks come back with a lot of rice (and occasionally with some other food). Then gong rings once again and  everyone gathers in the kitchen. The residents of the monastery take a bowl of rice and offer a spoon to each monk first. It's a small offering ceremony that takes place every morning. Then the monks take their food get back to the main hall first to pray for the food and then eat. Whatever is left is shared by the residents. The food was always very delicious and had a lot of variety.

8:30 onwards, monks do whatever they need to do. Some work in building houses for each other, some go out to the forest to pick up fruits, some study Buddhist scripts. Some mornings, I would give CranioSacral sessions, other days I would take forest hikes or read. Around 11, another bell is rung. This is the time for the monks to take some snacks – nothing that requires preparation or cooking but some fruits, milk, crackers etc. This is their final meal until the next morning, as Buddhist monks do not consume food after mid-day. I am amazed how fit, strong and healthy the monks are on just a single meal.

Until the 5pm gong, the monks again do whatever they need to do. At 5:30, we gather in the main hall once more for for 45 minutes of chanting followed by 45 minutes of meditation. Afterwards, some monks stay in the main hall to talk, to study with more senior monks or occasionally to play games on the computer.

There are no strict rules or musts in a monastery. Nobody has to wake up at 4 or join group chantings. Everything is completely up to your free will and this works well. Within this freedom, everybody seems to take full responsibility, offer their best, therefore everything runs very smoothly. I was especially told that I do not need to wake up at 4am and join, yet I wanted to. Except for 2 very cold and rainy mornings, I was always there.

Within this emptiness, I felt quite satisfied. Very little is set and the rest is fully up to you to fill it or not. I thought my life in Bali was slow, however it took me a few days to get used to this new level of slowness. And once I started flowing with that pace, it felt good. Once in a while, it is good to surrender  the content and the pace of the day to a few gongs.

life in a Buddhist monastery - part 2

The temple ceremony in West Thailand was for a very senior and well-known monk, Luang Por Chamnian. It was a lot of time and effort to get there and back from the forest monastery, but at the end it was worth it. There were about 200 monks from all over Thailand and at least twice of that his followers. Among that crowd, I was the only foreigner. I observed that Thai people are quite curious why a foreigner would bother to come all the way for a ceremony, especially considering that I don't understand a single word of it. At the same time, they highly respect and appreciate the interest of a foreigner towards their customs, country and especially beliefs.

Luang Por Chamnian

At noon, I had the opportunity to spend a few minutes alone with Luang Por Chamnian, during which he blessed me and offered protective amulets. That blessing was the first time that I felt the strong presence and the radiating energy of a monk. He is nowhere near a usual monk by Buddhism standards anyway. He lives with 30-kilos of weight dangling around his chest and belly. This weight consists of small gifts, amulets, key chains so when he is walking around, he looks very colorful. I was told that it used to be 60 kilos, but he reduced it by half at the age of 65. He constantly keeps them on, and especially when he's sleeping those 30 kilos put a lot of pressure to his lungs and pointed edges of metal objects hurt his skin. All the pain aside, monks are not supposed to own anything, so I was puzzled. I later found out that it is his way of walking the talk. He teaches that when one practices pure Buddhism the space and the clarity of his/her mind will persist regardless of how much physical discomfort s/he may be experiencing. At his current age of 75, with 30 kilos around his belly Luang Por Chamnian is a strong man who radiates his positive energy and lives an exemplary life to those who support him.

During my 5 minutes with him, I was told I could ask anything. Yet I had no idea what one can ask to a monk. Do I ask about my future, do I ask for protection or just throw out some technical questions about Buddhism? Seeing me sitting there tongue-tied, he smiled and just blessed me in his own way. It did have an impact – I am definitely feeling more grounded and my meditations got much deeper since then. I am constantly wearing the amulet he gave me and feel its protective powers.